I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
