Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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