My sheets look like a crime scene.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I forget how to act sober
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
