I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
