is wine microwaveable?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Send help, water and tortillas.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
