I hate all girls vehemently.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
