Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You are the jesus of drinking
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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