Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
