I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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