sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
