god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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