I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
