I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
