I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
