I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize