Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
