lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
