Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
