I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize