I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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