There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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