He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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