Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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