Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
