i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
