i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
