Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
