He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Are my feet made of real feet?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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