I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
