it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
