Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
