Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
