I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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