Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
