I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
