At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
