stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
