they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
