I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
