Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I am naked and annoyed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
