I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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