We're like a lot better than the average bears
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
