remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
