Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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