She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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