I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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