Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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