I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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