A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
