There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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