how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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