your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
