Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
