This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
