Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
