no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize