he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
