I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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