So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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