I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
how drunk are you?
Several
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
