But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
