Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize