Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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