If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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