Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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