and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
