My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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