3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
