i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
