We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
