Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
